Concerned Eyes

Straight ahead was a mosaic of trees. An army of really tall things. I knew I had to head towards them.

Tall wooden bars, I was totally lost in them. Little patches of light from the sun, helped me to see what was around. Birds chirpping out, breaking the silence, calling out to someone. Someone who could heal my pain.

I walked far and wide. Found nothing. I sat down and just looked at the nothingness around me. I saw a distant image of something. It was walking. Lost in its own world. I headed towards it. Finally approaching near it. Draped in white from head to to toe, it was walking slowly. I put my hand on its shoulder. It turned back.

I noticed two beautiful brown eyes staring at me. A beautiful face, it was. She was lost, just like me, in these woods. I held her hand and we walked together. Didn't know where we were going. But we kept walking.

At night, I could hear her breathing heavily. She was scared. I held her close to me. After walking for some time, she looked at me. I could see that she was tired. We sat down near a tree. We closed our eyes in each other's arms. It was all we wanted.

Time had found wings, I guess. I opened my eyes, it was morning. The trees around me. Where was she? I ran here and there. My eyes looking for her. Concerned eyes. But she was gone. I was alone again, with me and my memories. I began walking, with a little hope in me. I wanted to hold her in my arms again. I wanted to hold that hand again.

I finally reached a stream. Thirst, didn't matter. I had lost someone. Nothing really mattered. I saw a white figure again. I ran. Put my hand on its shoulder. It was someone else. I moved back. She was not "Her". Two strange black eyes stared at me. I turned my back towards her. She held my hand and touched it to her cheek. She took me away. Away from that place. We were in the woods again. Life suddenly seemed beautiful. We smiled at each other and kept walking.

Another night had finally come. We had stopped walking. I had layed my head on her lap. She sang songs for me. Sweet, was her voice. I forgot my pain. The world was no longer a bad place. Time again flew away.

In the morning, I got up. I saw her smiling at me. Suddenly we were interrupted by the sound of horse shoes striking hard on the ground. From into the woods came a warrior, on a white horse. He came and stopped near us. She got up. I wanted to stop her. But her smile stopped me. She was happy. She sat behind the rider and disappeared in the woods.


I cried. I cried a lot. The skies cried with me. Thunders began. Someone up there actually understood my pain. With my head bent down , I cried.

It was now dark. The rain drops made me feel cold and alone. Suddenly I heard some footsteps coming towards me. I kept my eyes closed. I didn't really care. Somebody came near and hugged me tight. I let it all out.

It was morning. Another morning. Another pair of concerned eyes. Green eyes. Looked at me. I moved away. She came closer. She whispered "It will be okay". She rubbed my head.

"Come , let's walk" she said. We walked. The skies were clear. We walked the woods. We found a way out. She smiled at me.

"It will be okay" She whispered.

There was an endless patch of small trees and green grass now. Change had happened. We kept walking.

"Never leave me" I said.

"Never" she whispered.

The moon had come up. The moonlit night, clear skies and two clutched hands. We stopped walking.

She looked at me. I looked at her. She drew her face near. We kissed. Time lost its pace. A cool wind blew on our faces.

After a while, She moved back. I smiled at her. She smiled back.

She suddenly stabbed me on my chest. She twisted the knife, a couple of times. I didn't feel the pain. I could hear my heart beating. A heart that had learnt to beat for someone. I knew , I was dying. But I still loved her.

I came down on my knees. "Don't you love me?" I asked.

"Never" She whispered.

I fell to the ground.

I woke up suddenly. Sweating heavily. "Some dreams are so realistic" I said to myself.

==========

Inspired from true events.

The Running Horses

Today's world, where people are always on the run. To make money, to earn a living. Once upon a time, we all were kids. We knew nothing about the world. We didn't know that we would eventually become like this. Like horses, always on the run.

In between all this hustle bustle lies a class of people. People who are running, but are not in the race. Money which makes the world happy, is just another "something" for them. The clock which determines time in their life, is always still. A class of people that don't want to believe that in the end , we're all alone. A bitter truth they can never digest.

So what makes these people different? Maybe they are less loved. Maybe, all they want is somebody to hold them every morning and tell them they're never alone. Maybe, they were meant to feel these feelings. Maybe God wanted them to learn something from the darkness, and so he shut the doors on them.

Yes, we are all running horses, in a race called
"Life". We were all meant to run. But some people, don't want to accept life as a race. They want it to be a journey. A beautiful, never ending journey.

Like two love birds flying in the sky. =]

The Kid

The sun was going down. There was stillness all around. Darkness was taking over.

Somewhere in a remote area, was a small house. An old welcome mat placed in front of a wooden door. It was entirely made up of wood. On opening the door you would expect a witch sitting on a rocking chair, doing her nails. But things were quite different inside.

A kid with innocence in his eyes looked at his father, who was too busy watching the news reruns.

"Daddy! I wanna play football!" He said, banging his feet on the wooden floor.

A tired daddy sitting on the couch replied "Not now son, there's no one outside. Go play with your cousin". The son stood there for a moment. Daddy had an uninteresting expression on his face.

The kid silently walked away. Inside his room he sees his cousin playing with some of his old toys. The kid stared at his cousin. He leaned over him and whispered "You wanna play? Let’s play then!"

Daddy was bored. Nothing was on the TV. The sound of the TV resonated through the silent environment. Suddenly, there's a bang on the door.

"Who is it?" asks daddy.

No reply. Another Bang.

"Son! I guess your friends are playin' football!" he says loudly.

No reply. Another bang answers his call.

Daddy shakes off his laziness and goes to open the door. He opens the door to see his son smiling at him.

"Look dad! I am playing with my cousin!" the kid shouts, and starts laughing.

The kid kicks the ball towards his father.

The ball had too many hair stuck on it.

Daddy picked it up, to see a red colored face staring back at him.


===================================================================================

SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

Wrote this during a class today.
I don't usually write stuff like this.
Nothingman (@fubar69)was an influence. =]
You can check out his kickass blog too: http://www.fubar69.blogspot.com

THE SHOCKING WILL CONTINUE.......

Walking Through a Lifetime

The clouds had finally come up after a long wait. Nature was celebrating. The tree branches were dancing to a silent tune played by the wind. The birds were singing. Every moment seemed like a perfect picture painted on a canvas. The Artist sitting in the heavens seemed to be on his artistic high.



Sitting on a bench, I admired the beautiful scene. The entire park was celebrating. I decided to take a walk and let the celebrations continue. As I made my way out of the park, a light breeze blew over my face. As if the nature was persuading me to stay a little longer. But something told me that I had to walk. The clouds were still up. It hadn’t started raining yet.

I walked the road adjoining the park. On my right stood homes. Human homes. Stagnant. Still. Silent. On one side was a park where every slight detail showed some happiness and on the other side were homes, like a patch of dead grass. Pale. Lifeless. In some houses I could see little children playing, laughing and enjoying. Like little dew drops on dead grass.


Childhood. The most beautiful part in ones life. Time takes away the childhood and life kills the “child” in you. We’re born as a child, grow as a child, but in our hearts there is always a child. The world pushes us, and the child cries, but very soon it forgets everything and becomes normal. But the world pushes us again and again and again. The child eventually dies and an animal takes birth. The social animal.

Straight ahead was another patch of dead grass, another row of homes. A turn to the right, a bit of walking and I was on a long road. Trees by the side looked as green as ever. Dead leaves flew from side to side. The nature was playing a rhythmic orchestra. Out of nowhere appeared a bunch of kids, on their bicycles. Burdened with heavy bags. But still smiling. I waved to them. Some smiled, many laughed.


Day by day these kids would realize how tough life is. Eventually they will learn. Some will keep the smile on their face. Some will use it occasionally. The burden of expectations will always be heavier than their bags.


I had walked a long way with my thoughts. I could now see the seashore by my side. The clouds made the view even more beautiful. I closed my eyes and the breeze tenderly touched me. I could see many couples walking on the seashore. Hands clutched tightly. Smile on everyone’s face. Life sure does seem beautiful. It’s really easy to hold someone’s hand. Letting go, hurts. No one really knows if these hands will remain clutched to each other or will they eventually let go. I closed my eyes, vague images flashed in my mind. No matter what happens, what remains, is you and your journey.


On approaching the seashore, I let the water touch my feet. Nature shows its love to you in the most beautiful way.

In the water, I see a reflection. The reflection of a wrinkled face. A face of traveler. A traveler with no destination. Nobody knows how much more he has to walk. But the journey never stops, it always goes on…

A hand on my shoulder suddenly interrupted my thoughts. I turned back, to see a face smiling back at me. A face I’d seen 50 years back. A face that has been my guiding light. I heard her say “Old man! You forgot to take your umbrella”. I felt as if I’d seen her for the first time. She was lovely. She sure was. I hugged her. It started raining.

A journey through a ruthless world, burdens of the human life, loosing grip of many hands which were once very tightly clutched. In the end, its always worth it. It always is.

Love is all you need...

What is it, that we desire? This is the question that’s been in my mind these days. We all seem to be a little unsatisfied about something or the other. What is it that we need? Happiness? Money? Mental peace?

Actually, the need is different for different people. The fat bellied business man wants to be richer, the middle class working lady wants to find true love, the college going dude wants to date the cute girl he sees at the bus stop everyday. Needs, needs and more needs. They never seem to come to an end.

What do these needs give us? The urge to want something. The need, the want. We think that it will make us happy. But what happens, is that, happiness flies away to another need. Happiness is not something you have to pursue. Its something you have to find inside you. No matter how bad times get, this little flame of happiness, always burns inside us. All you got to do, is find that flame, and let it light your life. Sometimes people get lost, in the darkness. That’s when they need somebody to find them, and direct them to the light that they’ve been missing.

The human self is full of needs, desires and aspirations. Their fulfillment is quite uncertain. We let our needs, determine our happiness. But needs just give birth to more needs. Happiness in some cases may be short termed.

I personally feel. Out of these endless needs and aspirations. A particular need stands out. It has the power to heal every wound. The power to give you the calmness of a saint no matter, how bad times get. Love.

The car may start giving you mileage problems. The business may decrease the width of your wallet. Your life may turn out be a miserable nightmare. You may be lying on your bed, the restless soul in you crying. But then your phone rings. And an affectionate voice says to you “I Love You. And will always do.” That’s when colors are added to a black & white movie. That’s when you show life, a single reason to smile when times give you, a hundred and one reasons to be sad. That’s when, you know you can face any problem, no matter how big it is. That’s love. Somewhere down the line, Love is the cause of our existence. No wonder why it has such a great impact on our lives.

Love, its when you close your eyes and smile , and a face smiles back at you. Its when, you think you just had the worst day of your life and a sudden thought of someone, brings a big smile to your face. When the entire world pushes you down but you get on your feet just for that single person.

A smile. A face. A hand that tightens its grip, whenever you tend to fall or trip. Love is about these small but beautiful things.

Let Love enter your life, and you’ll not need anything ever again. Its all that you need.

I really hope, all you guys find the love of your life. So that life becomes like a beautiful journey that you no longer care about the destination.

<3
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Mood-Setting courtesy: “Iktara” and “Pankho ko”.
God bless good music.

"Green" is the Color of My Life

I still remember, it was a normal evening, in Kuwait, and I was listening to the Radio.

Back in 2003, hip hop and rap received a fair amount of airing on the radio. And it was the only genre of music, I used to follow.

That Evening, Out of nowhere, began a song that started out with a violin and kicked off into a whole new song. The song was "Hitchin' a Ride". I somehow liked the track, but was not aware of the band. Little did I know that after a few years, I’d be worshipping this band.

2004, American Idiot released, and the whole world was talking about Green Day.
Just like the world, I also began humming "Boulevard of Broken Dreams”, "Wake me up When September Ends".

I still remember, listening to "Wake me up..." before going to bed, Everyday. I was totally mesmerized by the song. At that time Green Day, for me, was just a band, making good music. Nothing more than that.

-------
In 2006, I had to shift back to my country, India. I had lived in Kuwait, for 15 years, and bidding Good bye, was just not easy.

Shifting to a new place is a whole new experience. One has to encounter many problems and adjust accordingly. Back in Kuwait, I was always surrounded by limited number of people. I was happy among those limited number of people I knew. We were the minority, living in a foreign land. But we didn’t mind, as long as it gave us the mental peace we needed.

Here in India, everyone was like me. I encountered many types of people. I was not the minority anymore. Its like coming into the spot light, after living in darkness for a long time.

I had absolutely no friends. I was struggling to get good grades in high school. Life was too chaotic. I was always busy doing something or the other. At the end of the day, I was left, sad, tired and very much ALONE.


My ipod was like my best friend during those times. I remember listening to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams”, numerous times, every day. The song had a kind of a positive impact on my life. The song talked to me, it made me feel good. It filled the emptiness in me with some hope.
Back at my school, things were bad. I was pointed as a foreigner, by the teachers. I was told that I won't survive here. Bullies also joined, in making me feel humiliated. Yes, I was broken.
My access to the internet was very limited. Every weekend, I used to take some time off, and go to an Internet Cafe. One day, I downloaded the entire “American Idiot” album to my ipod.
For a week, the only music, my ipod played was from "American Idiot".
For those of you, who are not into Green Day, "American Idiot" is a concept album. It tells a story. The story of a victim, a victim of the society. It talks about a guy named "Jesus of Suburbia". Here’s a brief recap of what its all about.

.
Jesus of Suburbia is a normal guy. He is an emotional fool. Someone who finds it very weird to live in this world full of lies and betrayal. Troubled and heartbroken, he drifts from here to there. In the end he is left, very much frustrated from his life at home. He hates being there. So he runs away, in search of happiness. Away from his so called “Home” which was not “Home” for him, anymore.


He walked the lonely roads, the empty boulevards, hoping to find somebody. Someone who will understand his plight.
Through his journey, he meets "St. Jimmy". An exact opposite of JOS. Jimmy treated the world, just like it treated him. He was a punk. A punk, who lived life on his terms and didn't give a damn about anyone or anything.

JOS and St. Jimmy become friends. They hang around, take drugs, and enjoy life. JOS had changed now. He was now like St. Jimmy. .
JOS meets a girl called "Whatsername". He falls in love with her.

A much needed friend and a Girl friend, what more can a person ask for.
But Time is like the biggest story teller. St. Jimmy commits suicide. He not only kills himself but also kills the “St. Jimmy” in JOS.
Whatsername quits her relationship with JOS. Leaving him alone, and on his own again.
JOS, then learns, the importance of a home. Good or Bad, Big or Small, your home is the best place for you. JOS, Finally returns home.
----
My life turned out to be an exact replica of the album's story. I totally hated my life at one point. Yes, I was a "Jesus of Suburbia”. After a certain period of time, I did become a "St. Jimmy". Yes, I learnt not to give a damn about anyone. I started to fuel the anger inside me, with the frustrations, I had.

In 2007, I entered college; I was a "St. Jimmy". I had become crazy. I started researching about "Satanism". And began following, its ideologies. I personally think that applying negative stuff in your life, makes you hollow from the inside. It just makes things worse.

I also fell in love. I put my heart, mind and soul to the relationship. I traveled a hundred miles for her. But she left me. All alone. Miserable AND alone. Fuck her! (Sorry, had to say this.)

After sometime, I realized that all this negativity, had lead to the suffering of the soul inside me. I knew, I had to change.
So that's how the "St. Jimmy" in me committed suicide.
The change happened.

I started talking to different people. I started making new friends. I started laughing, joking. I realized that life was much more fun. A changed “Me” got me, new friends. And so, my life was something near to what people called “Life”.
The “Jesus of Suburbia” was finally home.

Green Day, was not just a band for me, anymore. It was my emotional support. It was what my life was all about. I became attached to them, as time went on.

Till this day, the song "Jesus of Suburbia”, brings tears to my eyes. Its like, an whole song, talking about you, your life, your pain. There's too much of emotions involved.

When music, starts triggering emotions, its not JUST music then.
---------
After this 7 year long journey. I learned something about life. Life is as tough, as you make it. There’s no place as home. I had fallen down, but I got up, and I was on my way. I owe it all to Green Day. My saviors. My words are just way too small to express my gratitude. But I love them! I just love them!! Ask any Green Day fan, and they’ll tell you the same. =))

Today, I am a proud Green Day fan, since 6 years. I wake up in the morning and start my day with a loud Green Day song, with my mommy screaming out from the other room. =P

I dedicate this post, to my God, my Inspiration, and my Life. Mr. Billie Joe Armstrong. The Vocalist, Rhythm Guitarist and Song Writer of Green Day. His words have been like magical spells that transformed me to what I am.



Its his 38th birthday today. I know, I am a mere nobody for him. But he'll continue to inspire me. I'll remain a Green Day fan, till the end of time.

Happy Birthday Billie!
And a Billion more to come!
You’ll always be the guiding star of my Life!!
One of the few reasons to smile…..


Long Live The King of Punk Rock!
Hail Green Day!

:-)

I've survived the tough times.
I've learnt the important lessons.
But now , i am happy.
That's Life .

PS- Okay i am not just happy. I am like really really happy.
Yay!

--
Sent from my mobile device